And today we are going to talk about beauty standards in Taiwan, bullying, and my parasol-carrying-gangsta ass. How does that sound? Boring? It seems like it wouldn't have many layers but I think it does, and I want to talk about it.
So when I first arrived to Taiwan, early September, the weather was pretty hot. 80 sometimes pushing 90 and humid as fuck. And yet I would still see local ladies wearing jeans and a sweater. Sometimes they would also be wearing a hat, face mask, and carrying a parasol (that my friends, is the most extreme you will see.) And I am like...how do they not melt? I am melting in a tank top and shorts. I thought they were vampires. For real. (And a side note: I actually think that would be a really sexy drama: an island of Taiwanese-lady vampires. Student by day, blood sucking diva by night. Oh shit yeah. Go to the night market eat pigs blood cakes and then get your own blood feasted upon by a group of high school girls. YES!)
So later I was told that it is because Taiwanese gals don't like to tan. The whiter the skin the better. Than I noticed when I went to buy sunscreen I had to try really hard to find the kind that didn't have whitener (skin bleaching product) in it. Same goes for face wash and lotions. Must be super careful or else you end up using a product that is really harsh (perhaps dangerous) on your skin.
So after about a month it becomes apparent what the beauty standards are for women here. Just like most industrialized capitalist countries, complete with their predatory marketing, within a day, with a good sociologist eye, one can know what the standard of beauty is in a day. Really, just like the USA or anywhere in Europe.
But regardless that this is just another form of patriarchal beauty standards, the same kind of shit I tried to resist in the US, I had an extremely adverse reaction to these behaviors (carrying a parasol, buying whiting cream) anyway. I did the thing where I just blamed Taiwanese girls themselves, I was like, "dumb girls. What the fuck? You look like you need to go outside, exercise, and eat a fucking steak." I really said that. I am going to be honest here, no shame.
This was at a point in my time here in Taiwan where I was experiencing temporary insanity, also known as "culture shock." It is a real thing. And everyone deals with it in a different way. But here is what I will say about *my* experience with culture shock:
My perception was fucked. The (very loose) definition of mental illness is you are divorced from reality. From my own experience, I would say culture shock is a mental illness. Everything I saw, I just made assumptions. 疑神疑鬼 (I don't know if I can use that 俗語 here but it was like suspecting everything about Taiwanese culture was fundamentally fucked and possibly inferior to my own culture.) These blind assumptions turned into convictions, therefore divorcing me from reality. And it made Taiwan a living hell. Really. Almost took my mentally ill-ass back to the states.
It was pretty much one of the most intense experience of my lifetime. But you know how I got over the culture shock? 1.)Drinking tons of water and fresh fruit juice flushing out this bad outlook and 2.) more importantly, admitting that I probably misunderstood a few (fundamental) things about this place. And that I needed to start over, allowing for a new perception. It was a little more complex than that...most of all it just took time. But y'all get the general idea.
In case you don't feel me, ready for a metaphor? Cliche? ME? Nah! Getting used to living in a foreign country, to be specific, my experience in Taiwan has been like breaking in a new shoe. It could be any kind of shoe, but for me it was a sexy-ass high heal. So lets say, you are so excited to wear this sexy-ass heal...damn so sexy. Beyond the sexiness, when you tried it on in the store and it was quite comfortable and everyone (friends you went shopping with, store employee) assured you it was a good shoe. A perfect fit.
You buy the shoes, excitedly put them on and wear them a whole day. And then you discover an ugly truth. These shoes aren't comfortable, in fact these shoes are fucking painful. Your opinion of this shoe does a 260 and you never want to wear these fucking shoes again. And not only do you want to throw the shoes in the river, but you want to buy a different pair, a better fitting pair. Not only that, you also want to announce to the world how shitty these shoes are, warn your friends and family never to buy this type of shoe.
But instead, you just take the shoes off. Rest for a day, let the wounds and blisters on your feet heal. And when you put them on again, the pain is not so acute. And you start to wear the heals this way: when they hurt too much take them off, but when the wounds heal you continue to put those bitches back on.
And eventually, (after approximately 3 months) the shoes not only don't hurt, but you are wearing like and walking like a diva in the streets of Taiwan, waltzing passed spit out betel nut 檳榔 , pirouetting through parked scooters. Why go from hating the style to diva style? Because your feet are actually more flexible than you think, and they also callus. Where the shoe used to hit and cause pain is now accustomed and pain is replaced with a whole new sensation.
So, I am going to get back to beauty standards and parasols and bullying. Eventually. But I think it is important to highlight this aspect of culture shock and getting accustomed to a place. And bring up this awesome Chinese Idiom 成語 : 入境隨俗 (Ru Jing Sui Su) which is often translated into English as "when in Rome do as the Romans do." But in Chinese, this idiom has nothing to do with Rome. But it is about this: When entering a place or new culture you should pick up some of the habits. It ain't a bad thing. The more flexible you are (just like your feet in heals) the easier you become accustomed. And when you become more accustomed the better you can learn about the people, place, and culture. And this works better than being stubborn and making false assumptions about what a culture or place is all about (like I did in the beginning.)
Flash back to beauty standards in Taiwan. So yeah, white skin and the extremes some Taiwanese women go to achieve this. Well, it sticks out to the foreign (READ: western) eye. Just like well, just like about EVERYTHING else. Do you see packs of stray dogs in the US? Or a man washing vegetables you are about to eat in the street? Really. Shit sticks as different. As if you are in a foreign country or something
So, what I want to argue here is that the beauty standards in Taiwan, specifically the white skin thing, although is problematic, has the same implications as beauty standards in the US or any other country.
Before I was like oh how these girls pitifully agree to oppression, how can they be this obsessed with white skin? But after adjusting my 看法 way of looking at things I was like, well my country has this same kind of phenomena, it is just less apparent because I am used to it.
Let us take the same subject: skin color. In the states, girls and their tan skin lust. I will say, I ain't hatin' one bit, but is this not the same idea? Spending lots of money to go to the tanner, buying self-tanner creams (that may or may not turn you orange if you buy the wrong kind), bronzers, siting in the sun religiously everyday, so on and so forth.
So yeah, same idea, going out of ones way to alter their appearance for the sake of lookin good. In doing so not only spending one's dollars, but also possibly endangering one's health (whitening creams, tanning too often.) And is there anything wrong with that? Well, I guess that is how you look at it. I personally really don't think it is good or bad.
Following society's beauty standards is not always vapid or shallow, it often has other layers to it. For example, I know a lot of American women who have expressed that tanning is a form of relaxation for them. Or the fact that by protecting themselves from the sun Taiwanese gals actually are protecting themselves from skin cancer and over-exposure.
But in the end, either way, if a woman chooses to participate in patriarchal beauty standards does not make her oppressed, stupid, shallow or the like. People are not one dimensional, each and every one of us are complete with souls, and everyone has their reasons for colluding in hard-to-reach, 麻煩 troublesome beauty standards.
Also to note on race. If white skin is beautiful than black skin must be....well,yes you get it. And is racism a problem in Taiwan? Yes. Is racism a problem in other countries around the world? Yes. And from my experience in the US I find that racism is more sneaky under the guise of (we are cool with race here, I have black friends you know.) and it makes it almost more intense because it is harder to articulate the problem than it is here in Taiwan. But this aspect is another blog post all together. Racism and systematic oppression based on race: check and check. :-(
But in the end: women all over the world go through masochistic, self-inflicted pain to try to be what society deems perfect. And to try to compare which country's women are worse off is a fruitless comparison. Comparing experiences of oppression really is not the most useful way of understand oppression and how it functions.
How to understand oppression? Well, first off one must take out the shame in the fact that sometimes we all (and I mean everybody) participate and collude in systems of oppression (just ask bell hookshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_hooks.) For example some of us participate in crazy beauty standards, in an essence supporting them. And I ain't going to get all feminist analysis on yo' ass, but for real y'all, the more we take shame out of the equation the more we can talk about the issues at hand. Because shame is always used by the oppressor to keep those oppressed from talking about our own reality. So yeah, no shame you go to the tanner everyday! Should you stop because it is oppressive? Well that is not question for anyone else but that very person to answer. Is it even considered oppressive? Also up to that person to answer.
I am going feminist on ya. This is going to get too complicated. What I am getting at is: don't judge y'all. You can have your own feelings ways of behaving reagaridng certain aspects of beauty standards, but there is no need to place judgement and blame on others. Know what I mean yo?
***
So yeah I carry a parasol, like a Taiwanese girl. 入境隨俗 Doing like the Romans do.
Do I value the Taiwanese beauty standards as if they were my own? Well, in short, no. I didn't grow up here. I have not seen whiteness as a symbol of beauty my whole life.
But I did grow up knowing that young skin is good. And wrinkles...no woman wants wrinkles. *so the man says* Yeah I have been worried about premature aging since middle school....sunscreen is must for me yo.
But yeah, I get to Taiwan, and I start getting wrinkles. And beyond on that, Taiwanese (and Asians in general) tend to look fricken young. So with that in mind, when the locals guess my age here they guess....28. I am fucking 23! God damn it all!
And here sunscreen melts off me. And even with sunscreen on over exposure to the sun can still damage your skin and is bad for your health. So yeah, hence the parasol. So if anyone was wondering, that is my reason. I don't want premature aging or skin cancer.
In the end is the parasol carring related to beauty standards? Fuck yes (I don't want to age prematurely.) Am I ok with that? Yes. Even if the parasol will not prevent aging (because guess what? aging is natural) it makes me feel secure. Very secure and proactive. And guess what else? Like a motha fucking diva! Seriously! Like oh I am a lady...the sun, oh it is just too much for me. hee hehe. It just keeps getting "worse" and "worse" right?
Nah. I will say it again. Whatever works for you. This makes me feel secure about my self, and I am doing it. What of it? When I find that parasol becomes an oppressive force (and I become so obsessed with premature aging that I really start to sacrifice my health) then I will ditch it. But as of now, the sun umbrella,known as a parasol (although my doubles for rain as well) is a happy addition to my life on a tropical island.
Word.
So, a word to the bullying. Yeah a fellow international student said she "felt bad for me." Because apparently I have turned into a Taiwanese girl who carries a parasol for fear of turning dark. She also had a very disgusted look on her face. Maybe it was lost in translation (English not being her mother language) but uh, no need to feel bad for me yo. Me or the Taiwanese girls here. They don't care if you think it is strange they carry parasols, they will do it regardless. As will I. And really no need to feel bad for me. Life is good. A wrinkle or two has not at all taken away from my daily marvel of life.
Do I care? Well, I didn't like being bullied like I was in middle school again. I am just going to eat at the school cafe and some person gets all disgusted because I am carrying a parasol. But I get it yo. I also at one point (culture shock) have thought that the parasol carrying thing was kind of pathetic. But maybe my blog post can clear things up a bit or give some food for thought. Maybe not. But yo, yo, parasol carrying Taiwanese girls and me aren't actually pitiful. Indeed, no more pitiful than our make-up wearing sisters. Ya dig?
Also, I have used the word "diva" a lot in this post.
