白花油 The Taiwanese Cure All: White Flower Oil

There is always some kind of medical treatment, drug, remedy of sorts, that we use as some kind of cure all; stretching it's intended medical treatment to alleviate other perhaps less related symptoms or ailments.

I can still remember my mom's mantra ringing in my ears, "put Noxzema on it!" You know the facewash with Eucalyptus oil in it. Zit? Noxzema it. Dry skin? Noxzema it. Skin tone uneven? Noxzema it. Worried about aging at the tender age of 23? Mom is sending Noxzema across the world to "cure" you premature aging woes. However! mom's skin looks great in her 60s so maybe we should be going Noxzema crazy, who knows?

Or how I use Ibuprofen with wild abandon. Headache, fever, hungover, muscle ache,hot temperature making me uncomfortable.

Side note: just today my man picked up the Ibuprofen bottle and pointed to the warning "if you consume more than 3 alcoholic drinks a week consult your doctor before taking this medication." To which I said, "no one listens to that stuff." Setting off his "為了你的健康speech" I probably should cut down on that stuff...or figure out a way to have fewer headaches.

For Taiwanese, the cure all remedy would be the famous 白花油 white flower oil. Here are some of the many (claimed) uses of this oil:

1.Headaches (most common).
2.Clearing out sinuses. A lot like menthol or vapor rub, only better in my opinion. I observed my man's mom using it this way, dabbing under the nose.
3.Zits.
4.Itchy skin.
5. Constipation/Gas (Use it to rub on your stomach) And I am not joking about this one. My boyfriend helped me do this. Results were mixed. But I think what really helped the constipation was doing 30 sit ups which is a remedy that he swears by.
6. Menstrual cramps (rub on the place where your uterus sits)
7.Muscle aches.
8.Bruises.
9.Minor scrapes and sores.
10. Stress and Fatigue (I have not tried this myself, however this commercial would lead me to believe that it REALLY does cure stress and on the way, causes international dancing? Aw snap!)

Before we go any further, please keep in mind folks---EXTERNAL USE ONLY AKA DO NOT EAT IT OR PUT IT INSIDE YOU

My first encounter with White Flower oil was in the states when fellow Chinese language student, who had been to China gave it to me for a headache. A couple dabs on my forehead and temples and I was surprised at the quick relief.

So when I came to Taiwan I was excited to find this stuff in the convenient stores. One day having a killer headache and no ibuprofen, I went to buy some white flower oil and a well intentioned young Taiwanese man (to be frank maybe just wanting to show off his English "skills") wrote down the word in Chinese for ibuprofen and told me to go to the pharmacy and ask for western medicine...because he is afraid this stuff (white flower oil) does not work.

But it does work, in the same way ibuprofen works really, curing the symptom: pain. And it is true it is WAY WAY WAY less harmful to your liver (probably not at all harmful) than our beloved western counterpart, ibuprofen.

Last place in the world you would expect to find someone dissing on non-western forms of medicine
would be in Taiwan (read:China. Its complicated!) but there you have it.

Most Taiwanese, when necessary, use western medicine, however most (excluding dude at the 7/11) don't dis on the white flower yo! For example I did a super informal (read: not professional at all) interview with my boyfriend:

Me: 請問，你對白花油有什麽看法？What are your thoughts on white flower oil?
Wealen: 哪裡癢就哪裡擦白花油。Where ever you are itchy you can apply white flower oil.
Me: 請問，你覺得白花油是幾乎每個家庭必備的嗎？Do you think white flower oil is a household necessity?
Wealen: 對。Yes.

And Wealen's mom has stopped me from taking ibuprofen and instead gave me a crazy awesome back rub to cure my headache. Kick-ass right? So yes, in general Taiwanese 不會隨便吃西藥 don't casually take western medicine. And in my experience, there tends to be a real suspicion of western medicine or at least a real reluctance to rely on it, especially from the older crowd. Hence the guilt trip my boyfriend gives me every time I pop an ibuprofen (what would I do without him?)

Bottom line: Ibuprofen: damages liver. Happy alternative: white flower oil y'all!

Disclaimers:

1. I am not a doctor or medical expert in any way,shape or form. (Duh) somehow I feel like I have to say this being that this post is medical related.

2. I am not receiving payment from the Noxzema company or 和興 He Xing white flower oil company. Although I probably should.

Andrea Gibson---can I get a hell yes?

So the other day, I had my first time with a spectacularly talented women named Andrea Gibson---the first time to hear someone recite a poem so powerfully it made me cry. I am not talking tearing up a little bit, I am talking tears falling all over Chinese homework I was failing to focus on. And this was not even a live reading! This was me watching it on the magical youtube. If I watched her live I probably would have ripped my heart out, gift wrapped it, and presented it to her. It was an amazing experience, one left me inspired.

Andrea Gibson an activist, and overall badass, was the 2008 winner of the Women of the World Poetry slam in Detroit, a four time Denver Grand Slam champion, and placed third at both the 2006 and 2007 Individual World Poetry Slam (according to good 'ol Wiki.) But this is not about the awards she has won, it is about her words, her poetry, and her delivery. Because in slam poetry it is about the delivery---and damn this women delivers! My good lord, does she deliver!

So I wanted to share one of her poems (and some others if you are interested) with you called "Birthday." Powerful. Crying powerful.

Quite funny. About gender, titled "Swing-set."

Intense. But indeed one of the best art pieces about United States militarism, titled "For Eli."

Funny, beautiful, love poem, "How it Ends."

An amazing yet very painful poem. "Blue Blanket" the best and most powerful line of this poem is the last line.

Bottom line: Andrea Gibson too cool for school (however she still preforms at them.) Speaking of performances, she is currently touring and will be in my town Portland, Or on the 20th of November at the Q center! Portlanders, for the love of awesome, go and see her. I really really really wish I could be there. And could someone get her autograph for me?

親愛的男友你要不要剃髮留辮？Historically Acurate? No. Incredibly sexy? Yes.

First watch this.



I need to remember to watch this video more often.

Next time I complain that if I only would have learn Italian or French my life would be much more sexy (not to mention the writing system being a fuck of a lot more simple) I am going to watch this video.

Chinese culture is amazing...oldest continuous culture on the planet. And the Chinese language is also the oldest modern language. And old=awesome.

And the best thing yet about Chinese culture...dudes can carry fans and sing in an uncannily high voice (yes that is really that man's voice in the video...not a woman) and still be considered manly. I dig it. I really really dig it.

And before some of you uber educated folk (aka anyone with a relative grasp on Chinese culture/modern history) start protesting I realize that this is not in anyway actual example of traditional culture. In fact it is a fusion between western and eastern...which some might call it a bastardization...me....I think it is brilliant.

To go even further this time period that is referenced in the video was 清朝 The Qing Dynasty which is actually a rule of Manchus over China The Manchus are not actually considered Chinese per se. Regardless of the historical inaccuracies (which are abundant) this music video is still the shit.

And in a way, I think this song and video is pretty reflective of Taiwan's culture now. Referencing western styles yet keeping a distinct Taiwan flavor. Its kind of like the bread I eat here...who would think to put Mochi inside pastries? It is amazing when east meets west. Yummy and sexy.


So the artist is 周杰倫, English name Jay Chou. More about him here. I can say that Mr. Chou (according to my boyfriend, Wealen) is one of the most successful and richest recording artists in Taiwan. He does more than just sing: he writes, plays piano and cello, dances, models, directs films and music videos, etc. And I hear he is a good role model.

But yeah...so I asked Wealen 崴仁 if he wanted to grow a queue 辮子 (the long braid hair style) like the one Mr. Chou is rocking in the video...he just laughed at me. And said no. I think at the very least he could carry a fan and wear those cool silky shirts. That would satisfy my "rice queen" needs. :-)

That might be politically incorrect to say.

I am also curious if any you folks in the states are finding this video sexy. Or have I just been in Taiwan so long that I have change my concept of what is sexy. Which is totally possible. But seriously check the fan...does it do for you?

Also on another note: I like the fact that a imperialist general gets his ass kicked in this video by some crazy kung fu (historically misleading in a general sense...but so satisfying in my mind).

Special thanks to Bri (Brizzle) for introducing me to this song.

The last thing I will say is that I appreciate Mr. Chou for reminding me that sexy is all about the attitude. He is one talented man.

面子並不是免費的！Oh, You Want to Race? Face isn't Free Bitches!

I have a dirty, dirty pleasure, and I guarantee it ain't what you're thinking. I will get straight to the point: I like unofficially racing Taiwanese guys at the track and kicking their ass. Recently nothing makes me feel more satisfied (with the possible exception of Taro, caramel milk tea, 芋頭+奶茶+焦糖=爽！)...and that is quite possibly because I am NOT getting laid.

But regardless. That is where I am at right now in life. But I swear to god it is so fucking satisfying. Satisfying just like when I walk a half mile from class in 95 degree humid-as-fuck heat and then get home and 吹冷氣 sit in air conditioning and watch Taiwanese dramas. But racing， kicking ass at running, this sort of satisfaction runs deeper than feeling relief from the stiflingly hot weather here.

So lately I have been a freak about exercising. I do it every day. And most recently I have been running 4-6 miles everyday, which I know might not be excellent for my body, but I doing ok now and without injury so I am thinking my body can handle it.

And recently I have been surprised---very surprised. On good days I am averaging 10 minute miles or less on 5 mile runs, which means I am in the kind of shape I was in high school when I was running cross country. YAY. Surprised. See what happens when I don't smoke pot and drink beer everyday?

But anyway, when I go to the track to run there is almost always a dude that wants to race. And you might say, how do you know he wants to race? Does he say, "lets race!" No. But it is a big track---and when you wait until I come right next to and then start running beside me or run slightly in front of me...well, in my mind, (since I am a competitive tiger-woman when it comes to running) that means you want to see who is faster.

And in my delusional-ass mind in the Taiwan championship running championship, I am the motha-fucking champion. Undefeated. Bring it on Little Wang, you want race? You want to loose face? That is my specialty. No I am kidding. Sorta kidding.

But truly, almost everytime I go to the track to run (verses the gym) I run into a guy that wants to "race." Not run beside me and talk, no, he wants to run slightly ahead of me and feel manly. Feel manly for a little while, until he discovers that I keep this pace for miles and miles, not just two laps. I am evil, and cocky. More cocky than evil, but they don't call me Katie JohnCOCK for nothing.

Here is how it usually goes, this example just happened the last time I went to the track: a man in his late 20s early 30s comes to the track. He is sorta stretching and I notice he is watching me, but that is not a very strange situation for me because I am apparently very interesting to the folks (meaning a bulk of the Taiwanese here.) But anywho, after about two miles the gentlemen waits until I run past and starts running and blows past me, and he is about 100M ahead of me. And I am like, "right on pops."

But his pace is ubber erratic so I catch up to him after a while and am about to pass him, when he speeds up. And I think this is funny. Because at this point in my competitive tiger-woman mind this means you are looking compete. And I am like alright dude...I still have 3 miles and this always makes my run WAY more interesting. So I do what I never could do when I ran track (because I was like no, I need to be ahead of the competition) I stayed about 6 or so meters or so behind him. And the poor man is speeding up and slowing down, huffing and puffing and I am listening to lady gaga and singing. And after two miles he stops puts his hands on his knees hunched over. And I run by him...without saying anything like sissy (i do know how to say in Chinese) so I feel like I am a good person on that note. I finish my last mile while he quickly leaves the track without stretching.

And that is usually how it goes. They wait until I have run about two or more miles and then decide they want to race...ok they want to run slightly in front of me. And man it is so satisfying to either 1.) Watch them give up miserably. 2.) After 3 or 4 laps pass them while singing "beautiful dirty rich" by lady gaga.

This is my dirty pleasure. And I realize that this slightly delusion, pseudo macho satisfaction is due to a few factors.

1.)I am inherently very competitive when it comes to running.
2.)I have a lot of pent up energy of all sorts. Too much time in the classroom studying Chinese...and too many Chinese idioms...along with not getting...well you know.
3.) Studying a language (or any skill that needs real world practical application) you go to use what you learn in real life simple situations and you fail. And then you fail again. And eventually you succeed. But after you fail a few (or many) times. So that said, I am used to making mistakes and feeling like a looser face. Winning at the track....is a fresh, welcomed feeling.
4.) Taiwanese guys, mostly young college guys, stare and laugh nervously at me. I am used to lots of shit here. Taiwanese tend to be more shy. And I can accept that. Including strangers talking about nose, talking about me in front of me (because they think I don't understand Chinese) and the like. And I am used to this factor to. But the reason it makes me slightly perturbed is because I want to yell out, "you little bitches, come talk to me. OMG! You see me every day and the best you can do is get quiet when i walk by and giggle? How fucking old are you? Are you in fucking middle school? It is called saying, "hello." And in fact some of them are cute so it is double annoying. And why don't I say hi? I do sometimes but who wants to greet a pack of Taiwanese dudes that are laughing at you. Not welcoming.

******
So I showed my ugly side.

I haven't been to the track in a week. Although the sex life is the same, the bitterness has subsided and I don't feel the need to compete with my male peers in running. However, I can't guarantee that this is permanent feeling. I am thinking the best idea is to enter a 5k race. Get this excess energy out. I don't need to be calling Taiwanese dudes sissys. A bit unfair, no? Yes. Especially when I know a Taiwanese body builder (a friend from the gym) who really looks like he is made out of marble. He is also painfully shy...but heck he still talks to me. :-)

So what I am saying is: Taiwanese boys and men, when it comes down to it, you (along with the whole world of XY chroms)hold a special place in my heart. And outside of my blog (written while on runner's high)I will not think of you as a sissy.

BUT: you would stop giggling at me and start being like, "what up? Want to drink some tea and eat a duck head? “ 江同學，你要不要一起喝杯茶，吃個鴨頭？好不好？” 阿強，I would be fucking delighted.

Listen to me， acting like I have never been approached by a Taiwanese guy, 我真是的！

*****
Reading this I do realize the tone and implied appraisal of both, race and gender in this post.

Your comments are welcome.