Well, I made it through my first major wave of culture shock-induced depression. 成功了! I just re-read my last post, not even a month old, and it occurred to me that I went off about how I will never find a man in Taiwan. Whoop whoop! So I guess pigs can fly and I like eating Chinese food. I recently met someone really special named 豪樹 Hao Shu (pronounced: how shoe) and we have been enjoying life in Kaohsiung together. So wonderful! The past month I have spent a lot of time in class, studying, and on a another note: too much time on face book. I am putting a daily 40 minute limit on that thing. Only at night and after all my work is done. New Years resolution y'all. Anyhow, besides my studying and face book I have been learning to enjoy and interact with my environment here...aka leaving my room sometimes.So what have I been up to? EATING amazing and exotic food! This is just an over view of some of the food I have eaten recently. Basically only the stuff I have pictures of. Because it is all about the visual right? There will be more on the food later because I fucking love the food here. And this post coincides quite nicely with the fact that I am dating a Taiwanese man because a lot of euphemisms in Chinese deal with food. For example, 我很喜歡吃中國菜。"I like to eat Chinese food." Can mean I like Chinese food but it also means "I have an Chinese (Asian) persuasion." Same with, 我很喜歡吃西餐 literally "I like to eat western food” means you prefer to date the westerners. Or "炒飯 frying rice or fried rice" means to have sex. And yet another, "吃你的豆腐 eating some one's tofu" means touching them in a less-than-platonic manner. So anyway, I love eating Chinese food and I will give you a little introduction....of the actual food. Really, just the food. I am no Anthony Bourdain but here goes nothing...
臭豆腐 Chou Dou Fu "Stinky Tofu." Two words: FUCKING AMAZING. My favorite food in Taiwan so far. So yeah, it really does smell. But not like feces or anything like that. More like, uh? Rotting? Maybe. A fellow western gal I met in Taipei said it best, "it smells like the bottom of a barn. Like straw at the bottom of the pile that has retained a lot of moisture and is rotting." Yeah so, something like that. Yum? YUM! Trust me. Think stinky cheese---smells bad tastes good. So why is this tofu stinky? It is the way it is fermented. I am not an expert on the process and in fact I know nothing about it. I don't ask questions: I just eat (a very good strategy I have found.) But if you are interested good 'ol wiki can let you know whats up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinky_tofu Maybe you can make your own at home! There are two main types of Chou Dou Fu here in Taiwan, stewed and deep fried. I prefer the deep fried version. It usually comes with some sort of sweet and salty sauce drizzled on top, and pickled cabbage and other veggies on the side, sometimes garlic is included (my favorite!!!!). My breath smells like a dog's ass afterwards....but soooooooooo worth it. The picture here is of 麻辣臭豆腐 Ma La Chou Dou Fu or spicy flavored stinky tofu. Really pretty spicy. And I ordered medium spice. 豪樹 Hao Shu drank some of the soup in the bowl and was sweating for like 10 minutes afterwards. CRAZY! I didn't dare try it. Remember kids: what is hot going in, is even hotter coming out.
豬血糕 Zhu Xie Gao "Pig's blood cake." When I say cake here I don't mean a sweet one, however, it really is made of pig's blood. Pig's blood and rice. There are variations on this type of cake that depends on what kind of animal the 老闆 boss is killing and/or selling. I have also eaten 鴨血糕 Ya Xie Gao, duck's blood cake. However pig's blood seems more popular. These little cakes are everywhere! I ate them for a week before I found out they had blood in them. Really you would never know it has blood in it unless someone told you. My Taiwanese friend, 栗子 Li Zi was like, have you ever tried pig's blood cake before? And I am like, why no I haven't, sounds awesome, let's eat some. When the infamous pig's blood cake arrives at the table I look at it and go, these things!?!? Shiiiiit, I have been buying these puppies from the 7/11 since I got here. Hot damn! Blood huh? Who knew? For real you can buy these all hours of the day at 7/11 if you happen to live in Taiwan. I love these cakes. Their texture is amazing! How does one explain that? Like SPAM...yeah...like SPAM. Not a whole lot of flavor on its own. That is why it is usually covered in some sort of sauce or marinated and fried. They are blackish in color and come in a block about 8 by 3 inches and about 2 inches thick. Lots of time they are cut up, like the one pictured, and boiled in some kind of stew, this process is called 鹵味 lu wei. The one pictured also had a boiled egg. And I have a sneaking suspicion these puppies are high in iron so I eat them a lot when I am on the rag. And some of you are like, "Whoa too much information, TMI." But I am now in a country where talking about your period with men, unlike so many other things, is NOT taboo and totally acceptable. Whoo-hoo! So yeah, my new favorite PMS food.
蚵仔煎 E Ah Zhen “Taiwanese Oyster Omelette" Nothing makes me miss working my breakfast shift waiting tables at Marco's cafe more. These omelettes hold their own---but for the record do not compare to the breakfast goodness of Portland, Or...especially my dear Marco's. But the Taiwanese Oyster Omelette, to its credit, is not a breakfast food. You will get laughed at if you ask your Taiwanese friend to take you to eat one before 7 pm (I have tried.) This is a night market food and you use the Taiwanese (as opposed to Mandarin Chinese) name to order it, sounds like Uh-Ah-Juhen. It is a traditional Taiwanese dish and it is---slimy. But pretty delicious. This was my former favorite Taiwanese food, that is until I tried stinky tofu. It has bean sprouts, oyster (word on the street is you can also have shrimp), lettuce, this crazy white cheese-like substance, and covered in this pseudo-ketchup goodness. I hate ketchup in the States, and while this sauce is tomato-based , it has some real flavor and a bit of spice. As for the white substance, you never seem to get a straight answer from a Taiwanese as to what it is. In fact, they look kind of uncomfortable that you are asking. Hence my new policy: no asking, just eating. The closest I have gotten to an answer is it starts as a powder and ends as this cheesy stuff. However, if anyone would like to fill me in on the white stuff and what it is made of feel free. Or, if it is terrible...don't tell me. I still want to enjoy this dish. I think of it like American cheese. You know those squares of "Kraft singles" craziness? If a European comes to the U.S. and is like what the fuck is this shit? I can't actually tell them it is cheese can I? So I am like...uh, "starts as oil and comes out like this." Bon appetit!
Awww yeah! This is the food that makes me feel like such a bad-ass. All those times those gardener snakes that gave me a fright: pay back is a bitch. No, I am kidding. I don't get any sick feeling of revenge eating snake meat...no more than I get eating chicken. The blood of snake is served mixed with some kind of alcohol, most likely Chinese rubbing alcohol, the name I use for Chinese "white liquor" 白酒. I think it also had Cardamom pods in it but I am unsure of what they were. They could have been the snake's testicles for all I know. It reminded me of a very strong, non-fruity, thick, version of Sangria. What does THAT even mean? Had a hint of cinnamon and spice. Anyway, afterward it really did make me feel euphoric. Think: a cleaner, longer lasting, less intense version of cocaine. God! That is a terrible reference! My only frame of reference for that is the Eric Clapton song, ok? Anyway, it made feel energetic and high at the same time. On top of it all, I went home and had an intriguing conversation using pretty simple Chinese (as it is our only medium of communication) with my Vietnamese roommate about the Vietnam War. Don't worry U.S.A. I, Katie Johncock apologized on our behalf. We didn't sign a treaty or anything...but hey, don't discount the small acts of diplomacy y'all. She told me her Grandpa was part of the Vietcong. And now we are roommates, friends, and use Chinese to communicate! How crazy-cool is that?
As for the snake meat. Well...not bad. And now I am going to use a very famous cliche: tastes like chicken. Sorry to cop out on that one, but it really did taste like chicken. But truly it was mostly bone---60% bone. And this is where I had to resist my mom's well-intentioned socialization. There are some parts of animals that we American's just won't eat. For real. What's the point? we say. But Chinese folks, well, they fear not the bones. In Taipei I once watched a very petite, lady-like Taiwanese woman eating 肯德基 KFC and she truly sucked a chicken wing dry. I am not kidding. I was so fucking impressed. They really eat parts of animals that I always considered part of bone---or something like that. Non-edible yo! So props to Chinese culture: waste not want not! So when I put my first bite of snake in my mouth I really heard the voice your mom uses when you are a toddler, "don't put that in your mouth! We don't eat that!" I say to 豪樹 Hao Shu, "Uh, 什麼吃法?" How the fuck do you eat this? The answer, "just bite it." I watch as he starts spitting bones on the lid of the bowl the snake is served in. 入境隨俗 When in Rome...You even bite the snakes spinal cord, eating whatever meat (nerves?!) are in that, and spit out each vertebrate. As expected, Hao Shu is a pro at it and I look a bit like a 2 year old struggling to eat Cheerios with her hands. So yeah...I guess my final verdict would be eating snake meat might be more trouble than it is worth. But maybe not, due to the bad-ass factor. Yeah that's right! I ate snake meat and then spit out the bones. Word up! Hence the picture of me looking like I am concentrating, I am trying not choke on or swallow bone. I had a bout of diarrhea the next morning, but thanks to more of mama's wonderful socialization I had useful meds for that! A half-hour and one latte later any discomfort was gone.
雞爪 Ji Zhua "Chicken Feet."
Yes, actual chicken feet. I am told there are two type of chicken feet one with bone and one without. These particular chicken feet didn't have bones. I was so perplexed on how to eat these things. If they had bones I would have been ultra-confused. But I imagine it's a bit like eating snake meat. They are covered in a sweet and spicy sauce. This particular Chinese food is one that most westerners (as well as some Taiwanese) feel are disgusting because they are considered dirty. Shit, they probably are dirty! They are fucking chicken feet! But hey...you are talking to a girl who drunkenly ate a french fries that someone dropped in the stairwell. Remember that Hannah? So yeah, I have no fear of such things. But it was when I kissed the chicken foot that I started to feel a bit funny. The finger (claw?) moved a bit and that was like, oh shit! Poor chicken. Then I started to think about how many claws are in the box...damn that's a lot of chickens. If was almost like PITA activist were standing right next to me. Anyway, at this point the chicken claws were cold as we had changed locations so Hao Shu and I could (romantically?) drink Taiwan beer and eat chicken feet next to the ocean. He ate one first and it made a crunching noise...mmm, delicious (this English word is quite possibly best said with a Chinese accent). Ok dude, the crunching-noise really freaked me out. But I went for it! I ate one whole one. I can't lie and say I liked it. I am not that bad-ass. However, it wasn't awful. I spit out the nails because despite what Hao Shu says, they are not soft enough to swallow....I am not Chinese. I ate another, just a piece of one (the leg and not so much the claw) and it went better as I didn't have to deal with the nails. I am going to try chicken feet one more time---when they are hot. Verdict: I am all for waste not want not...but I think I would only happily enjoy this dish during a famine.
That's all I got for you now. I am aware that I only have the freaky shit to tell you about. In general I am eating campus-made 便當盒 lunches of rice and some kind of meet. Or I go off campus and eat dumplings or beef noodles. All good (even the campus stuff is not so bad) but not so exotic! But in all honesty, if it were more convenient, I would eat stinky tofu every day!
