This is getting a little ridiculous. Missy Elliot shouldn't make me miss home. I don't even know her. But her music makes me remember my country's many cultures. I miss it so much! I want to shake my ass for real (jumping up and down to Lady Gaga does not count as dancing Taiwan...I am sorry) I need a my country where being outgoing does not scare people. I need a place where I can drink a pint of whiskey during my weekend and not be viewed as alcoholic (yo yo respect my ability to hold my alcohol bitches! 我的酒量不錯～～～有什麽好大驚小怪的！)
My homesickness like a bad case of rheumatoid arthritis. I deal with it by taking endless amounts of pain killers, not treating the core symptoms. So it doesn't take much to resurface---momentarily covering up the grinding pain only makes the sickness worse.
I can go off about how much I love Taiwanese food (I am addicted) and culture (for real) but deep down I know would eat shitty sandwiches(yes I am being overly-judgmental of US food) for the rest of my life just in the name of being back in *my element*.
Today I can't focus because of these few thoughts running through my mind:
Dad is in the hospital and I am not there.
I miss a lover. Yes you...
I really miss Mom.
Goes without saying I miss friends and family.
I have such vivid recollection of Portland's streets, people, and vibe that if I close my eyes it almost feels like I am back there. PDX is the best city in the world, yo! She is my girl...I think my only true love.
GOD FUCK I WANT GOOD COFFEE.
I WANT TO PET A GOD DAMN CAT. A NICE FAT, WELL-FED, WELL-CARED-FOR CAT! More importantly M-cat! Milo, will you remember me when I get back? We will do a good head bump when i get back.
This feeling is enough to make a girl give up on this dream. If I can learn Chinese up to this level...I think I can do anything....or anything ELSE.
Including pursuing that dance career and study of international law...
Wait what? From Missy Eliot to international law. That's how I roll, otherwise how would I go from Midwestern, good ol' Delton, MI to a small Chinese speaking island in the Pacific.
Warning! Being abroad you may experience two forms of insanity: 1.)Culture Shock (got a handle on that one) 2.)Homesickness (recurring daydreams of kissing the floor in the LA airport...gross I know)
I think I need another dose of medicine.
Also, this is the song that made me homesick. Please listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv1uae2SwvY
When I get back I have small request: I want to hear this song in a backyard and dance my ass off. That is it...dance with other lady divas that can hold their liquor.
Wow, that felt good to get off my chest.
Continue on...
awe babe you'll be alright! its perfectly fine to be homesick. just think of it as round 2 and you just need to KO to get through it :D we miss you too! you're doing a great job out there! jin and i are rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteI love you Bri! Thanks so much for the support. You have always been here for me and it means so much. Even in the beginning before I even knew you well I remember you giving me a pep talk. And I remember thinking, "how did a person I just met make me feel so much better. She is one special person." And I was right, you are special. Thanks so much girlfriend!
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