面子並不是免費的！Oh, You Want to Race? Face isn't Free Bitches!

I have a dirty, dirty pleasure, and I guarantee it ain't what you're thinking. I will get straight to the point: I like unofficially racing Taiwanese guys at the track and kicking their ass. Recently nothing makes me feel more satisfied (with the possible exception of Taro, caramel milk tea, 芋頭+奶茶+焦糖=爽！)...and that is quite possibly because I am NOT getting laid.

But regardless. That is where I am at right now in life. But I swear to god it is so fucking satisfying. Satisfying just like when I walk a half mile from class in 95 degree humid-as-fuck heat and then get home and 吹冷氣 sit in air conditioning and watch Taiwanese dramas. But racing， kicking ass at running, this sort of satisfaction runs deeper than feeling relief from the stiflingly hot weather here.

So lately I have been a freak about exercising. I do it every day. And most recently I have been running 4-6 miles everyday, which I know might not be excellent for my body, but I doing ok now and without injury so I am thinking my body can handle it.

And recently I have been surprised---very surprised. On good days I am averaging 10 minute miles or less on 5 mile runs, which means I am in the kind of shape I was in high school when I was running cross country. YAY. Surprised. See what happens when I don't smoke pot and drink beer everyday?

But anyway, when I go to the track to run there is almost always a dude that wants to race. And you might say, how do you know he wants to race? Does he say, "lets race!" No. But it is a big track---and when you wait until I come right next to and then start running beside me or run slightly in front of me...well, in my mind, (since I am a competitive tiger-woman when it comes to running) that means you want to see who is faster.

And in my delusional-ass mind in the Taiwan championship running championship, I am the motha-fucking champion. Undefeated. Bring it on Little Wang, you want race? You want to loose face? That is my specialty. No I am kidding. Sorta kidding.

But truly, almost everytime I go to the track to run (verses the gym) I run into a guy that wants to "race." Not run beside me and talk, no, he wants to run slightly ahead of me and feel manly. Feel manly for a little while, until he discovers that I keep this pace for miles and miles, not just two laps. I am evil, and cocky. More cocky than evil, but they don't call me Katie JohnCOCK for nothing.

Here is how it usually goes, this example just happened the last time I went to the track: a man in his late 20s early 30s comes to the track. He is sorta stretching and I notice he is watching me, but that is not a very strange situation for me because I am apparently very interesting to the folks (meaning a bulk of the Taiwanese here.) But anywho, after about two miles the gentlemen waits until I run past and starts running and blows past me, and he is about 100M ahead of me. And I am like, "right on pops."

But his pace is ubber erratic so I catch up to him after a while and am about to pass him, when he speeds up. And I think this is funny. Because at this point in my competitive tiger-woman mind this means you are looking compete. And I am like alright dude...I still have 3 miles and this always makes my run WAY more interesting. So I do what I never could do when I ran track (because I was like no, I need to be ahead of the competition) I stayed about 6 or so meters or so behind him. And the poor man is speeding up and slowing down, huffing and puffing and I am listening to lady gaga and singing. And after two miles he stops puts his hands on his knees hunched over. And I run by him...without saying anything like sissy (i do know how to say in Chinese) so I feel like I am a good person on that note. I finish my last mile while he quickly leaves the track without stretching.

And that is usually how it goes. They wait until I have run about two or more miles and then decide they want to race...ok they want to run slightly in front of me. And man it is so satisfying to either 1.) Watch them give up miserably. 2.) After 3 or 4 laps pass them while singing "beautiful dirty rich" by lady gaga.

This is my dirty pleasure. And I realize that this slightly delusion, pseudo macho satisfaction is due to a few factors.

1.)I am inherently very competitive when it comes to running.
2.)I have a lot of pent up energy of all sorts. Too much time in the classroom studying Chinese...and too many Chinese idioms...along with not getting...well you know.
3.) Studying a language (or any skill that needs real world practical application) you go to use what you learn in real life simple situations and you fail. And then you fail again. And eventually you succeed. But after you fail a few (or many) times. So that said, I am used to making mistakes and feeling like a looser face. Winning at the track....is a fresh, welcomed feeling.
4.) Taiwanese guys, mostly young college guys, stare and laugh nervously at me. I am used to lots of shit here. Taiwanese tend to be more shy. And I can accept that. Including strangers talking about nose, talking about me in front of me (because they think I don't understand Chinese) and the like. And I am used to this factor to. But the reason it makes me slightly perturbed is because I want to yell out, "you little bitches, come talk to me. OMG! You see me every day and the best you can do is get quiet when i walk by and giggle? How fucking old are you? Are you in fucking middle school? It is called saying, "hello." And in fact some of them are cute so it is double annoying. And why don't I say hi? I do sometimes but who wants to greet a pack of Taiwanese dudes that are laughing at you. Not welcoming.

******
So I showed my ugly side.

I haven't been to the track in a week. Although the sex life is the same, the bitterness has subsided and I don't feel the need to compete with my male peers in running. However, I can't guarantee that this is permanent feeling. I am thinking the best idea is to enter a 5k race. Get this excess energy out. I don't need to be calling Taiwanese dudes sissys. A bit unfair, no? Yes. Especially when I know a Taiwanese body builder (a friend from the gym) who really looks like he is made out of marble. He is also painfully shy...but heck he still talks to me. :-)

So what I am saying is: Taiwanese boys and men, when it comes down to it, you (along with the whole world of XY chroms)hold a special place in my heart. And outside of my blog (written while on runner's high)I will not think of you as a sissy.

BUT: you would stop giggling at me and start being like, "what up? Want to drink some tea and eat a duck head? “ 江同學，你要不要一起喝杯茶，吃個鴨頭？好不好？” 阿強，I would be fucking delighted.

Listen to me， acting like I have never been approached by a Taiwanese guy, 我真是的！

*****
Reading this I do realize the tone and implied appraisal of both, race and gender in this post.

Your comments are welcome.

Damn those the 13 year-olds know how to party!

So I just discovered this fella... Justin Bieber. Since I am totally and utterly out of the pop culture loop (as well as the loop known as reality) a Taiwanese friend actually introduced to me to his hit, "Baby." Yes. Watch this video. It has such a middle school flavor, yet I don't remember hanging out at the bowling ally being that amazing...but apparently I remembered wrong. It involves hip-hop, break dancing, and rolling on pool tables. I give away the surprise ending: he gets the girl.

And you will notice a reoccurring theme in Justin's videos: his girlfriends tend to be taller than he is. I dig it. That is what it was like in middle school, the gals tend to be taller than the boys.

This video takes the cake. How is Usher Justin's father figure, and he gets to have a party in his mansion? Because it fucking Hollywood...and enter the extra tall girl and skater boys. I think someone is eating an apple randomly in this video. It is actually quite authentic when it comes to middle school parties, who needs booze when you have silly string?

Anyway, watching Mr. Bieber makes me feel so strange. Like ok, why are you so cool for a 13 year old? Also it is like listening the Jackson 5 only much better, and with only one.... Fuck yes!

I LOVE THIS SONG! This is my new theme song. It is cheesy, but it is so damn motivational. And the video is the shit. I wish my Chinese language journey involved an older Jackie Chan and a theme song by Justin Bieber....I am going to pretend it does anyway! I want to be the Karate Kid.....