A Sad little post.....

This is my little rant because I am feeling sad. Here are some of the things I miss about the USA. This list will be expanded I am sure.

Things I appreciate about the US (particularly Portland, OR):

1. Not smelling raw sewage every time I leave the dorm or walk down certain streets.

2. Most animals on the streets have homes. I especially miss the fat cats on Portland's Eastside that really owned the neighborhoods. Sitting on the big beautiful porches or laying in the sun on the sidewalk these cats were well fed and loved by the whole community. Here the cats are all skinny and skittish. Some will be friendly to you but it is because they are very very hungry (like the one pictured...who looks a bit like emaciated version of Milo, my kitty. And this is the fattest cat I have seen in Kaohsiung yet because he lives on campus.) Plus, I know the cats in the states are not likely to be torn to pieces and eaten by a pack of stray dogs. Yes...that happens here.

3. Sidewalks!!!!!!! I am a graceful fucking dancer and I can't functionally walk down the "sidewalk"anymore. You know why? Because unless you are in certain districts in Kaohsiung the side walks are extensions of store fronts. So, they are all different levels. Sometimes you walk up pseudo stairs to continue on the sidewalk. God forbid you are disabled here. On a good day I only stub my toe. Plus there are often marble-like store fronts covered in water (slippery!) or perhaps they are washing the vegetables in the street. So you never know when you almost step in the 老闆的 (owner's) food prep. Or slip on the water thereafter.

4. Being able to read. I am pretty literate in the U.S. Here, when I try to read everything around me (like I do in the states) I get exhausted. And its not like you can sound anything out...or find cognates and be like oh that's just a message parlor...no probs. Yes, some signs have English. But I mean it is disappointing to not even be close to literate in a language you have been studying for a year and a half. You have to know at least 3,000 characters to be somewhat literate in Chinese. And even then, you might not know whats going on. Now compare that to our 26. Yeah.......remind me again why I didn't choose to learn Spanish. Now I know how dyslexic people feel.

5. My face is not a symbol of economic and military imperialism. Ok, yes whitey is the ruling class in the USA. I know this and in some hoods in the USA I am the enemy. But in the US, I can use my language to talk about this issue. Or do political/social work to alleviate this problem (which is in fact, one of my passions). Here, many of the folks who look at me in this way, or hear my U.S. accent speak 臺語 Taiwanese (not Mandarin Chinese, or if they speak Mandarin it is with a very heavy accent), so there is no way to approach this. Plus! Its not acceptable to talk about this issue. And maybe that is not why older folks (especially women) glare at me. Maybe it has nothing to do with American soldiers coming from Vietnam to Taiwan for US government-funded R and R (aka....reek havoc and rape women).

But I do in fact know that there is a stigma about the U.S. citizens in Taiwan because a cab driver talked to me about. This my friends, was one of the most interesting and amazing experiences I have had in Taiwan yet. I talked about US imperialism (thank god I am a geek and although I may not know the word for "spoon" in Chinese yet, I know the word for imperialism damn it!) and how I wanted to be a politician and help change US foreign policy. To which he said I was an independent woman. The cab driver was really awesome and I was surprised after as many birthday drinks as I had I could have a functional conversation in Chinese about politics. He told me he had classmates who would have a big nose. And they would ask them, "who is your daddy?" and they wouldn't know. And he said, "that is how you knew he had an American daddy." How fucked up is that shit? All I could say was..“先生，我很抱歉” "Sir, I feel so sorry!" He kept telling me not to apologize. It's not my fault. Then he told me I was beautiful. Because beauty is always the second thing that comes to mind after imperialist. :-)

Anyways, this self-indulgent, "oh, pity me" post went in a different direction. Am I having a rough time? Yes. I am. But will I be in Taiwan for two years working on becoming fluent in this language? Hell, yes! You will have to drag me off this island. I am dedicated to the cause--even when little orange cats make me cry in public.