您的服務非常好！我感謝您！ Defying Gravity by Buying Bras in Taiwan.

I cringe. CRINGE! Taiwan is not a tipping society. Being a server and working in the people-serving industry makes you appreciate and understand why we have tips. In Taiwan, only under very special circumstances do you see a service person get a tip. Actually to be honest, I saw it for the first time the day before yesterday, when this Taiwanese guy was trying to impress me (maybe we was actually a very generous man who knows?) and tipped a bar tender. Don't get excited! It was like 20 Kuai or so (less than a $1 USD folks.) The other circumstance---other than trying to gain the Chinese concept of "face" which is another blog post (or 12) altogether---is when you are very rich and busy and say something like, "不用找" or "no need to get change" to the cab driver. And when did I see that? On a Taiwanese sitcom...not real life.

So the tipping thing is kind of complex. And I have lots of ideas and examples I would like to bring up----but that is not with this post is about . This post is about bras. Underwire. And omg....it is like being born again....really. But just to stop some of the outrage that might be emanating from my fellow servers back in the states I will just highlight a few things about service in Taiwan:

1. When you go to a restaurant in Taiwan the service is absolutely nothing like the US. Not to say that it is bad....but it is not like...like in the US where, "you are coming for the experience of eating out. For the food to be just like you like it." If you go to 一家小吃店 a typical mom and pop noodle place here in Taiwan (which I do for almost every meal) you might complain about the food (I haven't yet but have been with folks who have) and the owner might straight up argue with you and be offended.

2. Brings me to the next point. It appears...and I don't like to make vapid and foundation less (made that word up I think) generalization but it appears that Taiwanese complain a lot a less than Americans. Really. I have been with Taiwanese friends who will eat things that they didn't order (the staff bought the wrong thing) or things that don't taste right. One time I was with a friend who ate the food and said it was OK like no problem. And I mean, keep in mind this guy is pretty over the top, but still, we leave the restaurant and after a few blocks he is like, "that food was awful I am going to throw up." And he actually did. Right there on the side of the road.

3. Some places (most westernized bars...but sometimes more upscale places as well) will add a 10% gratuity.(yes that is the most you will ever see.)

So with these few things in mind, you may think, wow the service must suck. But it actually doesn't. In general that is because....well the difference in culture. I am in the middle of (and conforming to) a very different culture. And a non-tipping one at that. So it is just DIFFERENT. But I could go into the fine points of Taiwan's service industry another time. But I will say this: I have had some good service. Good service in which I didn't tip for (I swear to god it is the culture!!!! I do cringe. For example, you don't even tip the hairdresser. No tip to be like, "thanks for not fucking up my hair and making me look like an ass." I was flipping out. I kept asking my Taiwanese friends, "are you sure? There is no way I don't tip!" 真的假的？怎麽會這樣子？！)

But I have never had outstanding service. Until. TODAY!

I bought a bra. Or three. Ok, three!

I decided a week ago I need a bra with underwire. When I hit college (about 4 or so years ago) and I was very offended by underwire. I can't even remember why I hated the underwire. But I haven't worn an underwire bra in about three or four years.

In line with my recent, crazy changes of becoming more and more feminine (this is another blog post as well. My lifestyle has changed dramatically aside from the cultural and language stuff. It is insane. As well as awesome.) I decided I needed a bra with an underwire because:

1. It is really, really hot here. And I sweat everywhere. And that means...if your boobs aren't supported and skin against skin, well if you are a woman, you get where I am going with this.

2. I saw a picture of myself that particularly emphasized the fact that sometimes I look a little less than perky....to put it nicely.

So, with two awesome girlfriends, Jin Ting and Bri, I go to the department store. The Taiwan department store is the same concept as the U.S. mall, mindless (yet oh-so-temporarily satisfying) consumerism, yet set up a different way. So the department stores tend to go up, not out (like our lovely US malls.) So, 大遠百 (Mega)the department store we went to was some 17 stories. And each story is a department (hense the name) selling the same type of goods. For example, the 5th will sell women's clothing, 8th floor, sporting goods. Like that.

So, then you get to your designated floor and department you feel like you are in one big store. One big department at JC Penny for example. At least that is how I feel. "Wow, one big bra store with each section having its designated brand-name." But what you come to find out is that actually each brand name has its own service people. It is like each is its own store. This is different than the US. It could be really confusing if you don't realize it. Like you are looking at one bra and then without paying attention move a few feet away and look at a different bra...but this is actually a different "store." So I often have service people herding me back into my original store of interest. It is quite amusing.

So, we randomly come to one section, mostly because they had non-ugly non-lace bras. The main deciding factor for me on whether service is good or bad in Taiwan is the first impression and what I will call "the foreigner factor." Being white in the south of Taiwan I run into lots of...well, I have gone over this. But lets just say, I stick out like a red wine stain on white linen. And people don't know what to do. They are obsessed with English. Really. So they just see me and are like, AH! What do I do? She doesn't speak Chinese. She is FOREIGN. She will think I am dumb, I don't speak English...who knows what all goes through their minds? But let me say I cause some major stress for these people, simply by being whitey.

But if a service just approaches me like any other customer---I AM BEYOND HAPPY. I am a customer before I am a foreigner. And when I speak to the service person in Chinese they respond in Chinese just like no big thing.

A turn off, and something that just pisses me off, makes me loose my manners, makes me not buy, is when a person refuses to talk to me in Chinese. Or after speaking to me Chinese feel they need to "translate" into English, so they scream (really their voices get so loud when they speak English) out simple English half-sentences at me. I am done after that. Bitches, I don't spend hours everyday study Chinese so I can hear broken English when I am trying to buy shit. Sometimes I hand them back their merchandise and say in Chinese, "wow! Your English is so fluent!" I don't know why it pisses me off so much. But it feels really embarrassing when you speak to someone in their language, a language you are studying in college, and they just respond in English. I know my Chinese isn't fluent yet, but I understand enough to buy things, ask question, and talk pretty fluidly. I have done it many, many times without a hitch. So recently I pretend like I don't speak English. And that is more fun. Or better yet, something I will try next time someone refuses to speak to me Chinese, I will pretend I can't understand their pronunciation. "I am sorry I don't understand your English. Can I trouble you to speak Chinese." Hee hee....I am going to hell.

So yeah, this service women comes out and just starts talking to me about how the pads in the bras can be removed. And helping me find the style I like. Nothing about foreigner stuff, no singular English words screamed out, just clearly spoken Chinese, and patient answering of my questions. Then when I go to try on the bras she says, "Your Chinese is very good." Which I just want to make clear does not mean it is true. Taiwanese folks will say that to you just hearing you say a few simple sentences. But still, that was the closest she got to the foreigner factor.

But this is an aside. The real service happened in the dressing room. She gets me a few styles to try on and then says to me, "Ok, when you try it on I am going to come in and see if it fits you properly in the shoulder and bust. I will knock first." And I am like momentarily like, "say what?" But them I am like shit OK, this is good. It is her job to know how it fits.

She comes in and asks me some questions about how it fits and then brings up the fact that has only been brought up to me one other time before (by my mother and it was quickly dismissed by my 17 year old self) and that is: there is a special method to wearing underwire bras. A right way...and then many wrong ways.

And I am standing in the dressing room with her thinking, man I don't know how this thing works. It can't be that complex can it? So she is explaining to me how to do it, and I tell you it wouldn't have mattered if it was English, I would have still been so lost. I got what she was saying but I am like...really? You lift and pull up? If I do that my tit is going to fall out of this puppy.

And then she did something that I think goes way beyond service I have ever had in the US. For real. She is like, I can help you and show you what I mean. I have to touch under the bra, is that ok? And I am like ok whatever we are all ladies. But she puts one hand on the underwire, and the other hand does this crazy under-the-bra upward-swooping, split-second, magical motion and BAM! GOD DAMN! Holly shit!

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS ON MYSELF. My boobs have never looked this...WOW! I mean it was really transforming...mentally and physically. I felt so supported, yet I really looked like, you know how sometimes you see pop-stars and/or Victoria secret models and it looks like their boobs are like pressed up in some lace piece, I have always thought wow, that looks fucking uncomfortable. BUT GUESS WHAT? It isn't! It is so supportive...and it looks sooo, soooo, well, nice.

So every bra I tried on this women helped me. She like coached me on how to wear the bra. Really the service was like if my mom opened a brassier store and when I was old enough to need a bra she took me there and told me how to properly wear one. REALLY! It was so informative and so...gravity defying. God damn, what a magical and caring service person.

Compare that to my experience at age 17 at a vitoria secrect store. A bitchy-looking college girl who is willing to tell me all the different "lines" of bras (lace intimates, seamless, blah blah.) But when it came to wearing it....well I thought it was too small, but in reality it was because I did not know the secret "swoop and filling magical motion." And my mom kept being like, "You need to lean over when you put it on. You need to fill the bra." And I am all like 17 and embarrassed. "Mom, omg! I know how to wear a bra!" But the girl just like doesn't say anything, and gets me a bigger size. The underwire, would not serve its purpose and I would wear an ill-fitting uber expensive bra. Thank you lacking Victoria Secret service person! ***Sorry, I know some of ladies reading this LOVE Victoria Secret. I was just talking to Jin Ting and Bri. Jin Ting says at VS don't help you with fitting bras and Bri said they do only if you ask. And that they assume you have the common sense of wearing a bra. But really it doesn't seem very common sense thing to me...there is a secret swooping action involved. And it takes practice (the sales lady said to me yesterday 在家多練習！to do more practice putting on the bra.) But ladies if you have had good service at VS please feel free to share. I do know if you came to Taiwan you can get similar under ware goodies (mostly imported from Europe and US), better service, and CHEAPER prices.

Hence, until yesterday I didn't know the MAGIC of underwire bras. It is magic. And wonderful. And supportive. I can jump and feel like wow no problem...everything is compact, close to my body, and light.

And yes. Underwire bras are worth a blog post. And yesterdays service is too. So happy and feeling sexy. Almost as sexy as this video. Underwire transforming the way I feel about my boobs surprised me as much as finding out that my favorite Korean pop group, Super Junior sang songs in Chinese. As they say, the best thing since sliced bread!

So although this music video is totally unrelated to this post please feel free to watch it. I actually bought this CD after I bought the bras so it is sotra kind of related in my mind. And Super Junior is good anytime. They are sooo sexy. Beyond sexy...they are sexy like underwire bras.

Conclusion: Yay Taiwan. Yay good service! Yay underwire! Yay sexy Koreans who sing in Chinese and dance like awesome bad-asses! These are a few of my favorite things...

Video you must watch