Today was a typical Saturday. Getting up late,grabbing a latte at 12 and chatting with the ladies at the coffee stand, exercising, getting together with friends, staying out too late. It is good. Life is good.
Today I marveled at the two points where my heart did that thing it does when it experiences human beings loving each other. It is that strange jumpy/warm thing. Like someone took one of those heating pads you put on your hands in the winter, and put it on my soul. Soul-heating-pads. That is not poetic. Who needs to be poetic at 4 AM when they are drunk? Some folks can pull it off, well that ain't my 天分 (talent) baby.
But being emotional is. It is my talent. My mom said at a young age (before I could understand a movie plot) I started crying at sappy chick flicks, so I take that as I sign I was meant to be over sensitive and emotionally charged. Right on. It might be one of my 優點 (strong points)...because appears to be the only one I have now at this point.
Two Heart Warming Things
1. So I am going to combined two things into one heart-warming experience, because well, the title is two and two. And otherwise it will mess up my intended format...and I am drunk and lazy and don't want to change it. So anyway, I go for my usual coffee at the coffee stand at the campus square. And I realize I totally forgot my money purse (I have the diaper bag-sized purse...but no money. So much for being prepared.)! And I am like, "stop don't make that latte I forgot my coin purse." And then the lady at the coffee stand is like, “不用客氣，改天好了！Don't worry about it, pay another day! But the way she said it, was like she has been expecting this for a long time. Something reassuring about having folks trust you, even if I do go there almost everyday to get the same coffee (iced latte, no sugar) for the past 7 months straight. And then as I am leaving I look over on the concrete benches lining the square, a middle aged Taiwanese couple, laying on a pair of benches,side by side, and their shoes thrown to the side, getting a reprieve from the intense summer heat. And then the struck me, was they were sitting just so, letting the bottoms of their feet touch. Something so intimate about that, and beautiful. And if you read "Cat's Cradle" by Vonnegut you would find another layer to this.
2. Today I went out with some friends. One of which I encouraged to drink with me. And so I am drunk (he is not because he actually likes moderation...) and we quickly breeze through the largest Night Market in Kaohsiung (at least I think it is瑞豐？) grab some snacks as we watch it close down (around 1 or 2AM.) And if you have never seen a night market close up shop...I recommend it. It makes one appreciate even more the marvel of this spectacular Taiwanese bazaar called the Night market. really. Amazing. Don't get run over by a truck hauling the goods out. Anyway, we go to the nearest coffee shop. Get drinks, I eat cake, shaped like a bear. I am so happy to eat cake. And then my friend begins to tell ghost stories. Which actually were beyond amazing. (1. I understood them. My listening comprehension is coming along 2. Telling stories is a great way to learn a language. So lately I have been listening to random folks stories (aka eves dropping on Taiwanese's conversations) and reading them. Because I remember that is actually how I became literate (ok somewhat) in my mother tongue, English.) Reall my he is a good story teller...complete with pauses and scary man voice.
And as he finishes my other friend mentions that he plans to drive me home (via scooter) and how one road is really scary and lonely. And he will be riding back alone. And ghosts..and the like. And then the conversation turns to Taiwanese language. Which of course I don't understand. And there is a reason for this I am sure (talking about how to deal with the lonely drive home?) It must be mentioned that the average Taiwanese is very superstitious about ghosts...I mean really. I have had very westernized, modern, from Taibei, friends who do no want you to mention ghosts if you are in an isolated, dark place.
Well anyways the heart warming part of this is. My friend ends up accompanying my other friend to drive me back to the dorm. Hence, avoiding the lonely, possibly ghost filled ride home. For all its differences from its American counterpart, I love Taiwanese masculinity (another blog post I promise you all...still doing research.)This moment made me think of my best friend, Hannah. And the things she was willing to do even if they were totally irrational (why not drive to Mount Pleasant to gamble at midnight? GREAT IDEA!) Good friends rock!
Two Things I Can't Get Over
I will keep these short because well I am getting tired. And why focus on the some-what less-than-positive aspects of life in Taiwan.
1. Discussing my facial features in front of me. I can hear you. And yes my nose and eyes are different because, guess what? I am a different race. Crazy...as much as I wish I could be Asian I am Caucasian and that is it.
I know my nose can be a topic of conversation (not in a negative way) in the states too. But that is with people I know very well. But in Taiwan random strangers bring it up and want to talk about it. Guys on first dates will compliment my nose. It is quite...uh interesting.
But on public transportation, going to meet friends and having folks like stare at you, talk about you, and then touch their own face longingly is not only creepy, but uncomfortable. Most of the times I ignore it. But today it was a couple (man and woman) and I found that particularly disturbing. Get your own nose bitches!
2. Yes, I am white. Yes, I speak Chinese. Good god...it is not that strange is it? I guess it it. But whenever Asia chooses to get over the fact that not all Americans think learning a second language in unpatriotic, I will be here....I will even talk to them.
But a simple request Mr.老闆 (man at food stand), please stop saying you bet I can't speak Chinese when I am saying to you (in Chinese)that I can. You heard me talking to my friends...and I don't understand why it freaks you out so much. Do you think it is strange you use all the money I, and other guests are giving you, to send your children to an after-school cram school to learn English? Do you think your children are like aliens when they practice speaking English?
But overall, these two things, although, things I am very accoustumed to, still somehow stick out as annoyance. Yet for real...they are not that bad. Actually these kind of instances tend to be my biggest woe...and that really, really, really ain't bad. I have ways of handling them. And tend to do it some-what gracefully without hurting anyone feelings, or making Taiwanese think (realize the truth) that is upsets me.
But my coping skills are another blog post all together. Now I just want to say: the heart warming things and annoying things....well to be honest, aren't all that different. They just remind me that...well we are all human here.
I can be trusting like the lady at the coffee shop, I can be insecure and shallow like folks on the subway, I can be intimate and sweet like the couple I can campus, and I can be callous and closed-minded like the boss at the food stand. I think everyone has their moments. And it is just that. Moments. Moments of life here and there...nothing paved in stoned, nothing black or white, good or bad...just movement. And for today, just blur of night markets, faces, and ghosts.
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