糟糕！猴 子 來 了！把 我 嚇 死 了！This ain't no Curious George!

So imagine you are walking a half mile up hill, in 90 degree heat, with some 70% humidity. Now imagine you are walking in a trance, sweat pouring down your back, and suddenly you come face to face with a monkey. How do you feel? Some of you folks who grew up in the states are thinking, "Aw, that would be wonderful! Such a cute surprise in your heated misery."

Ok, so now its time for me to burst your U.S. culture informed-bubble about monkeys. Monkeys are not cute. Monkeys ARE SCARY!!!! So I am walking on a sidewalk which is about 2 and half feet wide I look up and what do I see, but a monkey walking on all fours along the rail right next to the side walk. This monkey is about as big as a five year old child. But his eyes lack any amount of child-like innocence. No, this monkey was sizing me up. He (I say he because well, with testicles like that, there is no mistaking) was checking me out thinking, "Does she have food? Doesn't smell like it---but maybe in her bag. She is quite small, I am sure I can take her with help from my buddy who is coming up quickly behind me." You may ask yourself, "how did she know what the monkey was thinking?" Well some interesting phenomena presents itself when human meets monkey. It's this primate to primate connection that allows you both to communicate without what we humans call language. It is a sort of language in that it sends messages---but it is not spoken---it is passed through the burning hot air with our eyes. So in response to the monkey's inquiry, I back up into the road, hands up, and with all the bravery I can muster 'say,' "I have nothing for you. Just an iced double Americano with no sugar or cream. This has no nutrients and may or may not kill you." The monkey understands, prefers Bananas, and moves on.

You may not believe since you are probably sitting there watching "Dora the Explorer" and her cute blue monkey helper. I am thinking about how we represent monkeys as these docile little human companions. Its as if our culture likes to drive the point home, that we are the superior primate and that monkeys and all other primates are merely side kicks, babies, or need our help in general. Well I am here to tell you, that if you meet a monkey outside of the zoo you will NOT feel superior. You will NOT feel like they do in the movies like, "oh this cute monkey wants to come live with me, or oh, this monkey needs my help, or this monkey wants to be my friend and go on adventures." No. Its more like, "Oh, this monkey really doesn't give a shit about civilization or anything that my fellow primates lay claim to. No, this monkey wants to maul me and take my bananas (that I may or may not have)."

So, I am sorry if I ruined anyone's day. But this is my monkey experience. And did I get a picture myself? Fuck no! Once the monkeys passed by I thought about it...but they move fast. Plus, I am not going to piss off a monkey who was kind enough to let me go unharmed. However, when I reached class, my classmates showed me that outside the window sat several monkeys. Its a good thing I am a fucking gansta because the whole monkey cartel sat outside. Motha fuckas....I was able to snap one shot before my teacher started class. It isn't very good. So I provided you with another so you can see a bit clearer that they are not Curious George.